Transformations

I sit down to write my reflections on the last 8 months of Expecting Something, as I prepare to leave and take some time out for motherhood. I think the theme is about Transformation.

Here are a selection of the transformations I have experienced during this project:

A bump has turned into a tiny sleeping baby into an alert, upright cheeky personality.

An idea has developed into another idea before becoming a real life experience.

A singer who first quietly mouthed lyrics has grown in confidence and ended up belting out a solo harmony.

An experiment has become an interest and been practiced until it’s a skill.

A guarded glare has turned into a tiny smile then become a relaxed laugh.

A wish has grown into a few magical cells then into a tiny human inside me.

The rooms have gone from being blank canvases into colourful creative play havens.

Many actual blank canvases have become exciting works of art.

A worry has become a shared experience and turned into the cement that binds a friendship.

A discovery has become a game that’s turned into a nurturing play experience.

A sway to music has become a boogie and turned into a full on dance party.

There are more- I have run out of time. In a poetic way; for writing this blog post and working on the project.

It has been quite a journey all in all… I’m leaving feeling very grateful and full of the positivity that the project has generated.

I wonder if all the laughter, the music, the dancing and relaxing play will have had an effect on my baby? I believe it will have. This project has left me both politicised and filled with hope about parenthood and the life-changing joy having a baby can bring, in spite of challenges, obstacles and surprises. It has left me inspired by all the many artistic possibilities I can see for further developing work and arts practices for Early Years Audiences. There are plays, installations, books and experiences that are already beginning to grow from this in my imagination.

I have great admiration for the parents that I have met and am a little in love with all of their beautiful babies. I feel very lucky to have worked with Katy and Maria and all of the other wonderful artists who have supported this project so far (Hamish, Jenny, Zac, Jed, Jo, Bigg Taj, Geraldine, Liam, Lisa, Jassy, Nik, Jen, Skye, Kerry, Claire, Charlotte and EmmaClaire.) I am very grateful to Starcatchers, to Rhona, Jo, Amy and Claire… I don’t mean it to be an Oscar speech here, I just think it’s important to acknowledge and big up all these amazing people once in a while because it just wouldn’t have happened otherwise. And this is just the very beginning! The Expecting Something project is going to get more and more interesting over the coming months and years. Many exciting plans are in the pipeline, so I’m not saying goodbye or anything… just marking a little-big transition in my journey. Hope you don’t mind indulging a pregnant lady while she gets a wee bit emotional. Right, I’m off to have a baby now, wish me luck.

 

pop up spaces and play outfits

 

Each of our Expecting Something groups have taken on a project of their own this block. In Wester Hailes we have been creating costumes, dressing up and making outfits. In Lochgelly we have been exploring creating spaces to play in- dens, teepees, tents and temporary transformations of our space.

h(our) space in Lochgelly

We were inspired by a moment of togetherness we felt when singing under a huge parachute: the playful confidence of the group seemed to soar inside the tentish dome we created and we sang out far louder than we had a moment ago on the outside. We began to investigate how we could create an intimate place, marked out for quality, playful, creative interactions between parents and babies. The space has to pop up and be fun to build, then disappear at the end of the session as part of the play. When inside we need to feel safe, engaged and relaxed. We have been finding a connection between these spaces and listening to or making sounds. And a connection between changing the light and atmosphere and how exposed we feel.

 

play outfits in Wester Hailes

In Wester Hailes we kept experiencing moments of real joy from the whole group when the parents dressed up and began performing for their babies- dancing around and clowning to make their babies laugh. At first it didn’t matter what we had to hand- a parachute or a space blanket could become a costume, helium balloons were tied to long hair or stickers put on faces. But now we have begun thinking about how these play outfits can express a part of ourselves that we like, and also how they can be developed from materials that the babies find fascinating. So we’ve been using interesting textures that move or catch the light in a fascinating way. The outfits feel like a real celebration of the way parent and baby play together- incorporating their own sense of style and humour.

the balloon story

As it was our last week before Easter we celebrated with beautiful colourful chaos. We were buried in confetti and rolled around in it while covered with sticky tape. When all was swept away and everyone was about to leave a helium balloon tied to a pram made an escape…

The balloon rested high on a very high ceiling. Having some experience in working with helium (well, you do pick up some skills in this line of work) I knew that the potential hazard of this (aside from a disappointed small person) is that it may descend in the night triggering the motion alarms. That would summon some poor soul from their beds to investigate an attempted robbery by a slightly deflated, very sorry seeming purple balloon.

So, we needed to launch operation balloon rescue. Having spent the previous 2 hours engaged in quality creative play we were nicely warmed up. We discussed various imaginative options:

• shimmy up the wall ninja style?
• human pyramid?
• blow dart?
• fanning/ air conditioning/ flapping?
• just leave it and cross our fingers?

In the end we asked around the building for some help, procuring some long bamboo poles, a broom, some sticky tape, and a tall helper called Hamish (who we gave a shiny pointy party hat.) We taped several poles together and Hamish stood on a table with our long, improvised, balloon retrieving invention and stretched out to reach the string, pulling the balloon down safely into the clutches of a slightly bemused one year old.

What did the one year old get from this experience? (Other than a nice purple balloon to take home.) Well, the room was filled with an air of excitement followed by a sense of triumph. Mum and Gran went home with the feeling that they are part of a community who can face problems and tackle and overcome obstacles. Friendships and bonds in the room, which we have been building for months, were strengthened. He had quite an interesting spectacle and narrative to observe, and an experience filled with laughter and joking.

After a short break for Easter we plan to begin a new project together with each group. In Fife this will be inspired by the parent’s and babies interest in music and singing together. In Wester Hailes it will be inspired by the group’s love of costume design and dressing up. This incident reminded how important it is to set small challenges to solve together, where we genuinely don’t know the solution.

We often talk about one of our aims being to increase confidence. I’ve been thinking recently about the difference between being extrovert, outwardly confident and unabashed, and growing inner self-belief and self-esteem. I also came across the idea of ‘self-efficacy’, which psychologist Albert Bandura describes as “the extent or strength of one’s belief in one’s own ability to complete tasks and reach goals.” The theory is that we can strengthen our self-efficacy by a process of ‘guided mastery’ described in a recent TED talk David Kelley (from design company IDEO) about helping build people’s creative confidence.

With this in mind, the balloon story seems to illustrate how, as a result of our creative journey together, we could persevere to solve our problem not only successfully but also lightheartedly. And, I reckon doing it all whilst performing a daring, original clown stunt with a long pole wearing a party hat (amusing and delighting one year olds) is even better!

Striking the Right Chord

Today we have a guest blog by Maria and Zac:

In a chat with Hazel, Katy, Rhona and Jo, I mentioned how I feel like ExpectingSomething is a multi-faceted project. You have the mothers and the babies, but also the “youth” aspect (it is for under 25s after all!). It feels like we’re trying to make a chord on the piano and when it works it is beautiful! But, hitting all of those notes can be a challenge… Some weeks, we recognise that one note is hit better than the other, but we are always striving to create experiences that stimulate both the mothers and the babies. The biggest challenge is that both of these groups of people have such different needs! The babies might want to run around, whilst the parents might want to just have an opportunity to do something for themselves. I guess the skill is in recognising where all our needs collide – where the adults can be creatively satisfied; where the babies have space to play and listen to the world.

A couple of weeks ago, musician Zac Scott came along to our group in Fife. We made lots of sound, tried out some different instruments and discovered what instruments the babies liked. From percussive instruments, to bells, xylophones and ukuleles, there were countless possibilities to create something new and to have fun – together. We aimed to create a space where all sounds were allowed and okay to try out – there was no pressure to be technically musical or do things right. Together, we hoped to make a session in which we as grown ups could make some sounds for the babies and visa versa. So much learning can be documented in a simple back-and-forth clapping game for example – a baby has to listen, watch their partner, take a turn at the just the right moment and maybe laugh and smile to keep their partner engaged. All of this builds important connections across the many regions of their brain needed to carry out the complex actions and interactions we require in order to thrive. It is this concept that drives any creative activity – what can we do in order to make others thrive? We even managed to play some music for the babies and parents on our own instruments in the afternoon (Maria had never improvised on her clarinet before, so even for her this session was a HUGE confidence builder!). We also talked together. We talked about school, about our favourite and our least favourite teachers. We talked about songs we like. We talked about how influential throwaway sentences from adults can be on our feelings and actions. We talked about feeling creative (or not). We talked about music we like. We talked about singing. We even mentioned “choirs.”

We didn’t quite manage to create a new song, due to lots of happenings, but still collectively enjoyed the process of engaging in a musical exploration. Perhaps the intention was also too broad. But in saying that, it is important that we think of music quite broadly: yes, singing and playing instruments, but also experimenting with sounds, noises, words and squeals, playing rhythmic games, and even moving to music. Informal musical activities have a known impact on

the lives of children and families and the research within this particular age range is especially fascinating. We reflected on the idea that perhaps the best way to pitch the sessions is to actually not write new songs at all. What would it be like if we used songs we already knew and enjoyed and to try and recreate them instead? However, new music matters – so it’s key that we use this platform of singing songs we already know to then bring us around to a place of something brand new again. Think of how musical mothers are with their children in singing lullabies and in playing “pat-a-cake” for instance. Personal relevance is such a key factor in creativity and it seems that maybe we’ve accidentally found our way into it through the creation of a mother and baby choir! We found out that our group know, and like, Justin Bieber, particularly his song “Sorry”… (It seems like this song makes lots of babies dance! There must be something about his voice…) So, we’re thinking about how parents singing can be an experience with the babies in the centre. This led us to researching Mother and Baby choirs that already exist and what kind of music they interact with and perform. When we sing songs we all like, we have an opportunity to be creative and to then start to focus on detail and small challenges. It is also a means of multi-modal participation. Especially for young children, music comes alive, and engages more aspects of learning, when accompanied by gesture, dancing, and musical instruments. Engaging the whole child increases the impact of music on brain and motor development. An experience that we can design that holds a multitude of art forms and has the space for creative tangents is a goal for now, and we think that the inception of the choir will prove to be, erm, instrumental (ha!) So maybe next time Zac visits us, we’ll offer the opportunity to make our own versions of popular songs for the babies and with the mums, using the instruments we like and our own voice. Just like language, music is a shared, expressive, inventive, portable way to be together!

Maria and Zac

Happy News Year

“It’s good to be back”   Participant at WHALE

I have a secret to share: for the last 3 months while working with these incredible young parents in Wester Hailes and Lochgelly on the Expecting Something Project, I have in fact been ‘expecting’ myself. I am 14 weeks pregnant; my baby is due in July. And now I want to say to them: through all the incredible stories you’ve been sharing with me about your experiences of pregnancy, birth and your new lives with a baby- I’ve been beginning my own story- and I feel so lucky you’re a part of it. Your humour, honesty and wisdom inspire me (and that’s not just the hormones making me all mushy, honest, sob.)

Since Christmas we’ve enjoyed some live music together- check out this fantastic song Iyu wrote for her baby (in Chinese) featuring beats by Bigg Taj (recorded in Wester Hailes.)

And this lovely moment recorded during a session in Lochgelly where we learned ‘the cup song’ with Jo Jeffries and Jed Milroy.

We also had some cosy den building sessions with Kerry Cleland.

And we did some fun baby led filming with Geraldine Heaney. More on that will follow…

While the weather has howled outside we’ve created these little cocoons each week to shelter in and to grow and nurture away from the storm.

2016 is going to be an exciting year all round and I’m looking forward to seeing what emerges from our journey together.

FATHER Christmas

This is a blog about Fathers and Christmas- see what I did there!

I recently listened to a presentation by Chris Miezitis, Family Nurture Co-ordinator from Fife Council, which gave me a lot to think about. He runs a workshop called Where’s Dad? He asked everyone to consider the implications of their practice on the role of fatherhood. Are we being father inclusive? Is the language we are using promoting a positive message to boys and men about their role in families and as a parent? Is there anything we can change to engage young male carers more successfully?

There are some tricky questions around getting men to come along; not all of the young parents in our group are with their partners, and those who are tell us their partners are working or studying at the time of our group. How would it change the dynamic of our group if we had more men? (We have been known to spend quite a bit of time discussing the more horrifying details of labour.) But perhaps they are desperate to discuss their experience of being at the birth? And why should we assume that there aren’t young men who are primary carers for babies? What messages are we sending out by just calling ourselves a ‘young mums group’ rather than a ‘young parents group’- even if, in reality, men rarely come. And if we do want them to, what can we do to encourage them? We are discussing it with each of the groups at the moment, but I think a new years resolution is to keep it as a hot topic and investigate further.

And it’s worth noting there have actually been several amazing fathers in the group over this term, in the form of talented musicians who have shared their skills! Including Jed Milroy, Bigg Taj and this week’s Young, Hip St (Nik Paget-Tomlinson.)

We had fantastic Christmas parties with our musician Santa this week. I know that Christmas isn’t full of joy for everyone- and there are many negative commercial aspects and pressures associated with it. But this year I am sympathising with the Christmas organisers- I’m seeing the whole thing as a hugely ambitious community participation project that is about sparkle, family, inclusivity and joy… the same thinks that we think about here all year round on this project (usually on a more laid back scale you understand.) Play, fun, and quality time together are worth that extra effort- we think it’s important to make that space, take those journeys and we value thoughtfulness. So with that in mind, we wish all the participants, artists involved and supporters of this project a very Merry Christmas! We are so grateful for all the laughs, chats and positive energy of this term and we are looking ahead to very exciting 2016!

Rattle Battle: Baby Beatboxing

 A beautiful smile can transport you miles

This bar (lyric) was written by one of the talented mums in our Wester Hailes Group.

I’ve witnessed it a few times over the last howevermany years I’ve worked with Starcatchers- but I’m not sure I’ve captured it before in writing. I’m going to try:

Every once in a while an amazing artist (someone who has spent several hours every day, every spare minute practicing their craft, perfecting a skill, experimenting, thinking and working it out; someone who has taken knockbacks and made sacrifices but never been deterred; someone who has real love for what they do; someone who has regularly made a huge audience in a concert hall, theatre or venue catch their breath) turns up. And they perform/ create/ offer something to a tiny baby and their carers. Perhaps it is a first for both baby and artist- this intimate one-on-one performance style? Or perhaps it has only happened before for the artist and their baby in private at their home. It takes place just meters away from me, and the room stops still. All watch both the performer and the reaction of the baby who appears to instinctively connect with and appreciate the artist. This moment sends ripples through the room. The last time this happened for me it was a classical musician. This week it was a beatboxer.

One of the mums in our Wester Hailes group is a fan of rap music and beatboxing. She often writes amazing lyrics and shares them with us. We love it- and the babies have been enjoying the rap playlist too. So we asked Bigg Taj if he would come in and do a session with us. He shared some pure beatboxing with us, and some stories about his career and passion for making music. He listened to all the things that the group wants to express at the moment and we came up with some bars together. It was an inspiring day- potentially the start of something bigger that we can make together.

Spaceman Sam and Disco Dan

What’s your story?

Ours is Spaceman Sam.

The Lochgelly group looked at the books we like for babies this week, and found some common ground.

EARTH            Earth             earth               ground           ground           ground

PLUTO            Pluto               pluto               round             round             round

JUPITER         Jupiter            jupiter           safe                 safe                 safe

MARS              Mars               mars               sound             sound             sound

SPACE BOOTS            Space Boots                space boots                Space botts

SPACE SUIT               Space Suit                  space suit                   Space soot

I’ve been typing out some pages of words we like and we are going to play with collage images and textures this week. Every baby who comes along will get to take home its own book before Christmas, which they can feature in. All mums of babies under 2 and expecting mums- if you are under 25- do come along and join us in Fife, plenty pages left for you to fill!

It’s the calm before the D-I-S-C-O. In Wester Hailes tomorrow and in Lochgelly next week there is planned disco action, oh yes! My nails are sparkly, my dress is sequined, and my balloon modeling skills have been brushed up (not blown up… yet.) The glitter ball is hanging, ready. We are hoping to boost the number of people coming along to all the groups by creating a bit of a noise at the start of the project. And that noise is the sound of POP MUSIC and PARTY. We’ve been listening to what gets you excited and we are hoping it draws a crowd. Interested? Come along!

I’ve spent it in good company

Note: this weeks blog contains a selection of pictures from this weeks sessions and lyrics/ quotes from musicians we’ve been discussing while playing, marbeling, scrapbooking and listening to music. Enjoy. (The title is a quote from The Parting Glass which Jed sang us to put the babies to sleep.)

Above: Playing with swirly bright colours- ping pong balls on black background and marbeling paints.

Where your knowledge bigger than a college
If you haven’t got it wonder in a forest
Lost in your mind
Lost in your soul
Where you’re going you will never know (Akala- Really?)

I think the tiniest little thing can change the course of your day, which can change the course of your year, which can change who you are. (Taylor Swift)

Above: DJ Rude-boy enjoys some hip hop and we had Jed on the guitar with guest baby vocals.

I May not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I’m yours.
And though my edge is maybe rough
I never feel I’m quite enough
And it may not seem like very much
But I’m yours. (The Script- I’m Yours)

Taking things for granted is a terrible disease. We should all be checking ourselves regularly for signs of it. (Kate Tempest– Hold Your Own)

Above: big dreams- putting quotes in our scrapbooks and cool designs drying on the line. 

I am not superman
You are not superman
But I don’t need to pretend that I am (Akala-  I’m so cool)

And that’s just part of it not half of it, get the picture, the rest aint necessary. (Akala- Fire in the Booth.)

Hit the ground Running

On Saturday I ran a half marathon to raise money for Expecting Something along with a whole team from Starcatchers: raising heart rates, funds and expectations for the start of the project! In fact Katy and I did most of our pre-project-planning whilst training for it, pushing Katy’s baby in the buggy. With fresh air, fresh energy and relaxed focus for short bursts over time we’ve built up some really exciting ideas about where this project could lead and had some brilliant discussions about why it is so important and how we will work.

Here are some things I was thinking about while I was running on Saturday:

Mile 1: Getting started. It’s good to get going after all the build up, the worry and what ifs? A bit like I felt this week at the taster session, finally- here we go!

Mile 2: Finding the right pace. Breathing. Don’t rush off, take your time, it has to last. A bit like starting the project- feeling for the right rhythm in the workshops, pushing enough to do well, but not burn out.

Mile 3: The support. Just having someone standing, clapping and smiling gives you such a good feeling! A little encouragement really does go a long way. Isn’t that what our project is about?

Mile 4: Maybe I should write a blog about what I think about on the run. Will have to start remembering- it doesn’t have to be completely accurate, I could use poetic license. I don’t have to include all my thoughts, (can leave out the one about the giraffe party) just the relevant ones.

Mile 5: Katy- I’ve just seen her about to finish her half of the duo challenge and she’s done amazingly! She has found the time and energy to take this on, amid the running around she does looking after a wee baby and toddler. I feel so lucky to be working with her on Expecting Something– the first chance we’ve had to get properly stuck into a project together even though I love all her ideas.

Mile 6: My mum. She has texted this morning saying she’s coming along. I am 32 years old, we no longer live together, sometimes we go a couple of weeks without even checking in with each other- but the connection we have is still so strong. She knows how important this is to me today. Isn’t that what our project is about?

Mile 7: Still thinking about my mum. I am so lucky.

Mile 8: Comparing yourself to others. Being in the middle of the pack- someone is always going to be ahead and someone else always behind. Running stronger when surrounded by others. Maybe there’s a bit of that in our project?

Mile 9: Love. Someone is running with a picture of a loved one they have lost on their t-shirt. People being the best they can be because they are doing it for someone they love. A mum making something for their baby, doing something they find hard for love… I’m getting tired and emotional now!

Mile 10: Babies. Jelly babies.

Mile 11: Wow. This is hard. You know that feeling when you’ve really stretched yourself… but we need to do that right? That’s how you build confidence… right? And I’m doing it, I am pushing myself, and I am nearly there. Maybe there is a bit of that in our project?

Mile 12: Big ambition: building up to something. I only took up running about a year ago and I remember I could only go as far as the corner. Then I went as far as the park, then the rock, then the top of the hill, now a blooming half marathon! I feel like I am actually going to make it to the finish. And we have time with Expecting Something to build it up, bit by bit, into something amazing. We’ll see how far we get… and if we just do a bunch of short runs/ small things that’s fine, but the ambition is lurking at the start of this project for something amazing to happen…

Mile 13: There she is! My mum waving! I love you mum!

The .1 of a mile extra bit: Woah- crowd, cameras, overwhelmed, tears, medal, Starcatchers team, cake…